I thought I’d take a moment to consider social serenity, what it is, what creates it, and how that contributes to happiness. We’re at a juncture in the United States where our health care system is in need of overhaul, unemployment is at record highs, and people are walking away from their homes. It’s often challenging to find serenity in the midst of one of these situations.
I try to avoid too much television news and news-related shows, but something caught the attention of the American media about a year or two ago, and is still under debate today. In my search, I recently stumbled across it on youtube. The point of interest? In studies and surveys that compile data from research institutes and universities that rank over 140 countries, Denmark consistently ranks the happiest place in the world. (The US ranks 23rd, Italy 50, and France 62.)
Needless to say, I was pretty interested in why the Danes are so happy, and what the major differences are between Denmark and other western countries.
Most Danes reported that they feel “content” with their lives at present and in the past, ranking their current happiness on a scale of 1 through 10 most often at an 8 or higher. Also, it was reported that most feel they have very little to worry about, or complain about, that they feel secure and “taken care of”, with a high level of trust in each other and in their government. Social scientists cite that they have “modest” or “realistic” expectations (not that they lack ambition or hope), and are happy when things turn out better than expected.
So what constitutes these differences? After being fascinated by some of the clips and digging around the research, I’ve compiled a list of what I found most interesting:
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Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~Laozi
When a new year rolls around we often look to things that might improve our lives: small changes we can make, new habits we can adopt or old ones we can shed.
Sometimes, we get so caught up in small self-improvement tweaks or keeping the status quo that we neglect the real issues: the toughest, most transformative changes, the ones that will have the most impact on our lives. But this is no accident.
In general, we avoid the most meaningful changes with everything we’ve got. Because they’re big, and because of their transformative power, we’ll call them “Big Changes”.
Most often, the Big Changes have to do with one of the following:
- Work
- Relationships
- Living Circumstances
- Physical or Emotional Health
- Facing Addiction
- Some Other Fundamental Life Change
Big Change Theory
They’re the most meaningful changes, yet difficult. They are of the self-directed type, the kind that brew under the surface for a while. They’re born of deep desire, an inner knowing. Once born, they bring with them their own energy, even before we make them. We could say they arise from the very human quest for happiness, the life force, or our own evolution toward a higher good.
Regardless of where they come from, we know making them will result in very powerful and positive transformation in our lives, the type that permeates our being and trickles into everything else we do. Some say they are our aliveness coming to get us. Yet, we put them off.
Initially, we don’t embark on them for a variety of reasons: we’re not prepared, the time isn’t right, it’s hard, we don’t know how, we don’t want to hurt someone, our finances aren’t in order, there’s something we don’t want to give up, etc. And though the reasons abound, they really don’t matter much, because the energy of these changes doesn’t go away. Instead, it stays with us, just below the surface, fighting for our conscious attention.
At times we can put these changes out of our minds for a while, but they remain there in the background and continue to haunt us. They exert their force on our subconscious even when we’re not thinking about them. Still, oddly enough, we avoid them not just for weeks, but often months, and sometimes even for years. How does this happen, and why?
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