7 Keys to Strengthen Relationships and Create Lasting Memories

by Miche on February 12, 2010 · 34 comments

skyheart

The past may be gone forever..and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow.

There’s almost nothing more rewarding in life than close relationships, be it with a spouse or loved one, friends, children, or our families. One of the things that all of the most cherished and satisfying relationships have in common is lasting memories.

Memories, especially joyful ones, fortify relationships and increase their endurance, especially through difficult times. We really don’t “plan” on creating happy memories, they just seem to happen, yet we’d all like it if we knew we could have more of them. But how do we go about intentionally making them happen? What are the things that we remember most?

Sure, a vacation might do the trick, or another big life event, but these don’t always occur very often. And even though we really can’t guarantee that we’ll be able to create more joyful memories, there are manageable things we can do in the present that deepen bonds, increase mutual joy and aliveness, and raise the odds that we’ll have more memorable times to look back on in the future. Most of these involve, at least in some way, breaking from our routines.

Even good relationships tend to stagnate when routine sets in…  time slips by, without any real memories being made. This is when we look back and wonder where the time went… there are no real markers to set things apart.

Stressed or difficult relationships are also undermined by routine: things have become so uncomfortable or tough that any routine that keeps the status quo, or the stress at bay, is often adopted. No good memories are created in this place, and with time, this increases the chasms that separate us from those we care about.

Breaking out of the routines that keep us from deepening our connections and experiencing the stuff we’ll enjoy looking back on doesn’t have to be complicated, expensive, or extravagant. Instead, try incorporating some of the following simple elements into any of your relationships, and make them, in some way, part of your routines together:

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Sane Snacking: 10 Tips to Avoid Weight Gain

by Miche on February 11, 2010 · 18 comments

Make it a New Habit: Drink an 8-12 oz glass of water right before you snack to reduce hunger.

Make it a New Habit: Drink an 8-12 oz glass of water right before you snack to reduce hunger.

What happens when you have a hankering for a snack? Do you sometimes need to have something sweet, salty, or greasy, right away? I know this happens to me, no matter how disciplined I might be at any given time.

Sometimes our energy is just zapped and often our body cries out for something to keep us going. The first instinct is to grab some soft, sweet sugar-filled goodness or something to “munch” on, usually of the crunchy carbohydrate variety.

We all know that snacking can be the downfall of a healthy lifestyle, but there are some things you can do if you must snack that will help you avoid  the extra pounds.

Most of the time I try not to snack at all by eating proper meals, but there are times I just can’t help myself. Sometimes, there are days in a row when I snack, as much as I tell myself I’m not going to. Usually the urge to snack means that I haven’t eaten enough at mealtime, that I haven’t eaten the proper food at meals, or that I’m waiting too long in between meals. When I do snack I follow the 2-3 Hour Window rule of thumb, no matter what I choose to snack on (below).

Obviously the best approach is to try to avoid the snack altogether, but when you need to snack to re-up on energy (or just to kill a craving) here are 10 tips to help keep off the extra pounds:

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Making Big Changes: Energy and Resistance

by Miche on January 24, 2010 · 27 comments

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~Laozi

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~Laozi

When a new year rolls around we often look to things that might improve our lives: small changes we can make, new habits we can adopt or old ones we can shed.

Sometimes, we get so caught up in small self-improvement tweaks or keeping the status quo that we neglect the real issues: the toughest, most transformative changes, the ones that will have the most impact on our lives. But this is no accident.

In general, we avoid the most meaningful changes with everything we’ve got. Because they’re big, and because of their transformative power, we’ll call them “Big Changes”.

Most often, the Big Changes have to do with one of the following:

  • Work
  • Relationships
  • Living Circumstances
  • Physical or Emotional Health
  • Facing Addiction
  • Some Other Fundamental Life Change

Big Change Theory

They’re the most meaningful changes, yet difficult. They are of the self-directed type, the kind that brew under the surface for a while. They’re born of deep desire, an inner knowing. Once born, they bring with them their own energy, even before we make them. We could say they arise from the very human quest for happiness, the life force, or our own evolution toward a higher good.

Regardless of where they come from, we know making them will result in very powerful and positive transformation in our lives, the type that permeates our being and trickles into everything else we do. Some say they are our aliveness coming to get us. Yet, we put them off.

Initially, we don’t embark on them for a variety of reasons: we’re not prepared, the time isn’t right, it’s hard, we don’t know how, we don’t want to hurt someone, our finances aren’t in order, there’s something we don’t want to give up, etc. And though the reasons abound, they really don’t matter much, because the energy of these changes doesn’t go away. Instead, it stays with us, just below the surface, fighting for our conscious attention.

At times we can put these changes out of our minds for a while, but they remain there in the background and continue to haunt us. They exert their force on our subconscious even when we’re not thinking about them. Still, oddly enough, we avoid them not just for weeks, but often months, and sometimes even for years. How does this happen, and why?

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True Success: Finding Your Perfect Wave

by Miche on January 4, 2010 · 15 comments

This is a guest post by Srinivas at The Skool of Life. Follow him on Twitter.

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

Water has an endless horizon; there is no limitation when you look out into the water. There’s nothing to interfere with the mind’s eye projecting itself as far as it can possibly imagine. ~Billy Joel

In many ways we are all surfers in search of our perfect wave. A few months back I shared my thoughts on creating your own definitions for success and failure and to me, those are the waves of life that we are all riding.

The perfect wave is something that provides an absolutely effortless ride. It peels across the ocean for what seems to be an eternity, a ride we hope will never end. The thought of danger is overpowered by adrenaline and excitement… It’s pure bliss at its very best, the type that puts an ear to ear smile across your face.

When you’re on it, you’re not thinking about the future and you’re not looking back. You truly are living in the moment. True success, in any aspect of our lives, often feels something like this.

How to Find Your Perfect Wave Checklist

1. Define What It Is to You. The quest for the perfect wave is something that most surfers spend a lifetime on. To one, it might be an exhilarating 20 foot wave, while to another it might be one that’s 2-3 feet and provides a longer, more balanced ride. The point is, for each and every person the perfect wave is something different, yet it’s always about embracing your strengths, likes, and deciding the wave that is perfect for YOU. It’s often easy to get caught up in societal definitions of success and failure, of what we “should” or “shouldn’t” want or be doing. But, when we define for ourselves what our perfect wave is, discovering it becomes much easier. [click to continue…]

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