In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice. ~Richard Bach
When was the last time you sat and just let yourself be bored for more than a minute or two?
I mean, really sat and just let boredom be there, kind of zen-like, while doing absolutely nothing about it?
If you’re like most people, probably not recently. Maybe not ever. We’re programmed not to do this.
We live in a world of constant distraction, instant gratification, and sensory overload. And we’ve become gluttons for it, enslaved by the cycle of trying to avoid boredom. We’re addicted to distraction.
The amount of them available to us is unlimited. We can turn on the television, sit down at the computer, check email, Facebook, call or text someone, find something to clean, have company, do more work, or even take a nap. Ever find yourself standing with the fridge open and you don’t know why? That’s the sort of thing I’m talking about.
These behaviors clutter our minds and our lives, and keep us from connecting with our deepest selves. We believe we do these things because we’re bored and we think if we were “busier” we wouldn’t do them at all, or we’d do them less. This may be partially true, but really this way of thinking just feeds the cycle. The truth is that there’s a bit more to boredom than meets the eye.
In eastern thought, boredom is a state of resistance. Resistance is tense, tight, and uncomfortable. As soon as we start to feel this discomfort, we seek to escape it, sometimes by being super-productive and other times by doing things that often leave us unfulfilled. We’ve picked up some bad habits along the way and have even created lifestyles designed to keep us from experiencing boredom.
But if boredom is resistance, what are we resisting? It’s usually always one or more of the following:
- a feeling we don’t want to feel
- a thought we don’t want to think, or
- an action we’d rather not take
All of these are part of our intuition, which is always trying to guide us in the direction of a more fulfilling life.
Not acknowledging our intuition cuts us off from our own life energy. Energy is meant to flow, and when we resist this flow it makes us uncomfortable. Our minds crave the next distraction to alleviate this feeling.
If we act on these cravings, we’re doomed to repeat the cycle. But tuning into and acting on our intuition makes us feel more alive, and connects us to our deepest truths, needs, and desires. Even if they are things we don’t want to acknowledge (and sometimes they are).
How do we end the cycle of boredom and distraction and get back in touch with our intuitive energy?
The only real way is to sit with boredom, and not take action. In total silence.
The voice of our deepest truth is usually always quiet. Peaceful. Meaningful and soft. It’s easy to miss. But it’s always there, whether we tune into it or not. If we stop drowning it out by trying to escape it, our lives become less chaotic, more peaceful, more meaningful and more fulfilled. It might shake things up at first, but when we follow our intuition, life gets simpler, lighter, and more joyous as we flow with it and let it flow within us.
If you’ve never done this, I can’t promise that it will be easy. If you sit in silence, all the habits, urges, and impulses you’ve created to avoid it will come up. But recognizing them is the first step. And slowly, over time, you’ll be able eliminate some of them and to live life more consciously, more connected, and more in tune with that deeper place within you.
So the next time you feel bored, before you seek the next distraction: Stop. Pull up a chair or sit on the sofa for 10 or 15 minutes, and
- turn everything off
- close your eyes
- quiet your mind
- tell your to-do list it can wait
- let go of your obsessive thoughts
- forget about all the things you “should” be doing
- don’t act on your compulsive behaviors
- resist the urge to get up
- pretend you’re glued there if you have to
- tell yourself it will be okay
And just breathe slowly, in and out. Ask for guidance, ask, “What do I really want?” And then listen, closely. The calmest voice, the most peaceful one that quietly emerges from the total and utter silence, that is the voice of your intuition. You’ll recognize it because it’s always gentle. Soft. And true.
God cannot be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence;
see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence…
We need silence to be able to touch the soul.
~Mother Teresa
For help getting started cultivating a practice of silence, see:
- Mary Jaksch’s 5 Minute Video “Learn to Meditate” at GoodLifeZen
- 10 Tips to Meditate, at GoodlifeZen
- 10 Ways to Clear Your Mind Clutter at RatRaceTrap
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This is something that many people never realize…that it’s OK to actually sit and do nothing for a few minutes. People are brainwashed into thinking that every minute of every day must be packed with activity, or else it is “wasted time”. In fact, time is actually wasted when we don’t treasure it…when we fill it up with meaningless activity. There’s a reason that we should “stop and smell the roses” every now and then: because that’s where life happens…in the still places.
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..These Dreams
Hi Jay, I couldn’t agree more! It’s funny how we’re so encultured not to “waste” time. “Life happens… in the still places”. I love that. What a great post title!
Hey Miche, excellent article! I try to allow myself to relax a few minutes in the day to let all my thoughts flow and relax. I’ll try to do it more after reading this.
Oscar – freestyle mind´s last blog ..Cloud Living Review
Hi Oscar, doing this everyday great! I get caught up sometimes in super-productive modes, then when I get some down time I sometimes unconsciously begin to seek a distraction to unwind, which doesn’t work at all. That’s when I have to remember to stop, sit down, and “just be” with silence. Saturday, I took a whole day of it. It was lovely.
Hi Miche.
I like that you point out that note about boredom being a state of resistance. If I point that out to someone who says they are bored, they might ignore it or say it is not the case, but maybe it will help them to think about it for next time.
That description of how to properly sit in silence sure is detailed, and looks to have all the bases covered. When we do that silent sitting and thinking for a minute or 5 minutes, it changes our whole next hour or hours. It’s surprising what disconnecting for a short bit does, when we are normally always connected.
It is a cool concept to go “from boredom to intuition”. Thanks for this.
Hi Armen, thanks for stopping by! I think many believe boredom is a state of being “uninterested”. You can be “bored” by a book or a movie or even a person, but most of the boredom that just arises in us, that seeks alleviation, is not this type. Yes it is surprising what a short bit of disconnecting can do, and it’s also surprising how few people do it. Once I get passed all the things that make me want to get up (all the distractions I’ve made part of my lifestyle), I can sit there and just be in the moment. It’s so refreshing.
Fantastic post Miche and you hit on some great points when it comes to boredom. Many, as you say, look for things to occupy them while in a state of boredom, but many times this is not the best route.
Boredom is simply lack of awareness.
Great post and thank you for sharing!
Dayne
Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..Laughter IS The Best Medicine
Thanks Dayne, I agree! It’s funny that we often need reminders to become “aware” of awareness…
Miche´s last blog ..How to Get From Boredom to Intuition
Hi I’m Karl and I’m addicted to distractions. I’ve admitted it and now I can do something about it.
It’s true. I like to carry a book with me wherever I go. If I had an iPhone I know that I would be on it all the time. There needs to be a harmony in our lives. If all we do is distract ourselves all the time the great thoughts get missed. It’s these great thoughts that will change the world.
We need to take the time to sit and be bored and just listen. That’s what I’m going to do right after this next sentence. A little meditation before bed goes a long way.
Hi Karl, Welcome! I’m Miche, and I’m addicted to them, too. I also carry a book with me everywhere I go, AND I *do* have an iPhone, which I am seriously considering giving up! I’m already delaying a kindle purchase as long as I can (the price just dropped) so I can’t carry *too many* books around with me.
Meditation before bed sounds good. I’m going to listen to a guided relaxation meditation tonight before bed, which I do regularly. A nice, peaceful one. Guess where? On my iPhone! Oh, the irony here! It’s no wonder that silence has become such a rare commodity. Cheers, and thanks a bunch for dropping by. Tomorrow I’ll be doing my best to workhappy! -Miche
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Love it!
I loved the quote, too. I’m often grabbed by the beauty of the flowers the grow between the cracks of the sidewalk. How the flowers don’t mind the pavement, the noise, or even being occasionally stepped on. They grow. That’s what they do.
It also reminds me of a book I read recently, “The Wooden Bowl,” by Clark Strand. It was there that I realized that by focusing on the space between the breath – life is the most beautiful.
Great post, Miche!
Lori´s last blog ..NaNoWriMo—A Writing Experiment
Hi Lori, I love silence, too. It relaxes and rejuvenates me. I’ll have to check out “The Wooden Bowl”, it sounds good. Yet another book for my list (I just got rid of over a thousand books last year that I’ve read in an effort to simplify. I’m a total bibliophile — in recovery, still!)
Miche, this is a wonderful article! That Mother Theresa quote is lovely.
Maggie Jackson wrote a book called: Distracted: The Erosion of Attention and the Coming Dark Age.
I know people who simply cannot stop. It would almost kill them to do what you suggest. I used to be sort of like that, not always but sometimes I was driven to distraction. Learning to meditate works miracles.
Keep up the great work! Thanks for the link love
Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Stop Learning to be Helpless
Hi Stephen, Thanks! Another book that yet sounds like one I need to read (see above). I know a lot of people who just can’t stop at all. Adults, who feel they are just being “productive”, but lots of young people, too, who believe they have ADD — Attention Deficit Disorder. All my daughter’s friends swear they have it because they can’t focus on homework with their earbuds in and 10 AIM windows open while their cellphones keep dinging and ringing with new messages. I joke with them and tell them I agree, they *do* have ADD — Addicted to Distraction Disorder!
Not that I’m trying to make light of what can be a serious problem, but in their cases, and I’ve known them all since they were young, I’m pretty sure it’s just a lifestyle thing. They *dread* stillness and silence, totally. Once upon a time I probably did, too. But that seems forever ago… Now, I love it!
Hey Miche. Great post. To me personally, boredom is a state of mind. I find getting rid of the word “I’m bored” really help in my case. To sit quietly is certainly a good way to relax and find peace in a hectic life. But some people just have to keep themselves occupied, don’t you think.
Hi Karlil, Thanks for chiming in! I totally agree. I don’t use the word any more, it’s one of those labels that conjures up all sorts of things that take us further away from what it is we are really feeling. When people (especially kids) tell me “I’m bored”, I usually challenge them by asking “Well, if you weren’t bored, what would you be doing right now?” “Or, if you didn’t feel bored right now, what would you be feeling?” They usually can come up with a few things when they have to think about it. Things out of the ordinary and outside of their “normal” distractions. Funny how taking that label out of the equation really seems to work!
Part of me thinks that the incessant need to keep oneself constantly occupied is sort of a cultural neurosis we’ve all inherited. I think productivity is good, but yet quiet and stillness are so fulfilling in other ways. Most people are just too uncomfortable with it. We can’t even allow stillness to enter our conversations. Silence, instead of being natural, has somehow become “awkward”. I think we all miss out on something really special when we view it this way, something unique that we can experience both within ourselves and with other human beings, too, if we’d just let it happen.
great post….learning to be with your boredom is learning not to run away from your true self…most people run because they have yet to know their true nature…thanks for contributing by expanding peoples consciousness
Ivan´s last blog ..Cultivating Constant and Never Ending Improvement
Hi Ivan, great point, and so true. Thanks for stopping by!
SUCH an amazing post.
“let yourself be bored”. haha. love that.
also really liked the stark “we’re addicted to distraction”. so starkly true and on point.
man. i’m at an interesting place in relation to all this. i’ve done the whole eastern spirituality thing. been to india. sat in a cave. got the dhoti. fun times. i’ve also read ample stuff on the subject. and it’s a significant portion of the subject matter of my website.
and lately, i’ve really been thinking that this kind of work only works after a lot of poking in the dark and trial and error. the restlessness is a symptom of a deeper issue. and sure, sitting cross-legged in a cave on the coast of india might happen to reveal the triviality of the whole thing – if you’re lucky – but it doesn’t drill down to the root of the issue. why you’re restless in the first place.
just wrote an article about it. would digg your thoughts
haha.
keep well and in touch.
alex – unleash reality
Hi Alex, thanks for commenting! I haven’t travelled to India but I’ve practiced eastern traditions as well. You’ve totally got something there with the underlying issue, why we are so restless in the first place. It’s definitely something to ponder on, and now you’ve got me thinking! I’m heading over to your blog now…
See you there!
Miche
Miche, what a beautiful post. I really like how you talk about three common things the feeling of boredom is used to resist: a feeling we don’t want to feel, a thought we don’t want to think, or an action we’d rather not take. Talk about a call to mindfulness! Thanks so much for sharing.
Hi Melissa, thank you for the kind comments! I came up with those three things by stopping and watching what I usually resist when I’m wandering around (on the internet or otherwise) “looking” for something “to do” instead of just “being.” Usually I’m resisting something I consider “yucky”, like feeling sad or lonely, solving a problem that needs solving, or doing something I don’t want to… sometimes they’re complex things that I’m resisting, but other times they can be pretty simple, too… I’m so glad you stopped by!
Heya Miche!
Really nice blog you have here!
I have the boredom thing every now and then, and there are also times where i just DON’T feel like doing anything, like I won’t be bored, but I have no desire to really do anything except for sleep or watch TV. Do you every get that?
Keep up the great work miss
Cheers
Diggy – Upgradereality.com´s last blog ..Be True to Yourself – Tyler Durden Style
Hi Diggy! I’m glad you stopped by, and thanks for the compliment! I totally agree, sometimes we just don’t WANT to do anything, and yes, I get that, too. I want to nap or zone out and watch the tube, and enjoy those things. I think it’s when we start doing this type of stuff and it becomes unfulfilling… that’s when we really need to stop, check in, and see what else is going on…
Cheers, and stay in touch!
Miche
Thank you for this post! I never thought of boredom (which doesn’t come to me that often) but is how I feel the later part of today.. even now.. .. anyway, I didn’t know it was a form of resistance and I am resisting those 3 things you say. Also.. I didn’t know the opposite is intuition.. hmm.. very interesting.. it does resonate with me now.. Thank you. I will sit still and listen tonight what is really going on.. see if I can hear something new. warmly, Sharmila
Sharmila´s last blog ..This Week’s Song: "Face Up" by LIGHTS
Hi Sharmila, welcome, and thank YOU! Yes, it’s really interesting when you take a look at boredom, or when you take a look at all the habitual patterns we have included in our lives to prevent boredom, to resist things that are often so vital for our well-being. Stopping and listening will always surely bring new insights, so good luck, and thanks for visiting. Hope to see you again! Cheers. Miche
Hey Miche,
Great post. You raise some thought-provoking issues. One in particular gave me pause:
“…boredom is a state of resistance. ….if boredom is resistance, what are we resisting?”
Hi Cheryl, thanks! And thanks for stopping by, too. That’s the question I always have to ask myself, every time! Cheers, Miche
Miche´s last blog ..3 Keys to Emotional Serenity
WOW!!
You’re words are truly awakening for the clouded minds of us young adults, like myself…and my mind at one point was probably the most foggy of them all. Thanks for helping me wake up and small the coffee….or apple cider.