I thank you for bringing up this very important topic and being so brave to embrace the suffering of all…

Difficult to me includes suffering.

Being raised Catholic allowed me to learn compassion. At the same time being one of 10 kids we were taught ” think of the starving children in Africa.” To me this was a double message. Feel sorry for others but not for yourself. Have compassion for others but not for yourself.

As a therapist I was gifted with the ability to have compassion and walk in another’s shoes. Because I left the Catholic church I learned to have compassion for myself and embrace all suffering, my own and others (things may have changed in the teachings of Catholicism today, I wouldn’t know).

My dream was to work in Mother Teresa’s mission in India. I never made it but a close friend of mine did. I have volunteered in Mexico several times, Mi, AZ Mississippi, and Texas.

I embrace my own suffering and find a gift in the midst of it each time. I think in your last paragraph “be kind to yourself” needs to come before “be kind to others.” We can’t give to someone else what we haven’t given to ourselves. We can’t acknowledge that others are suffering when we don’t acknowledge that we are suffering.

Maybe some of the people behind “all the positive psychology” out there aren’t writing about it because they’ve ignored it (suffering) in themselves and there fore don’t recognize it in others. If that’s the case, to them I offer compassion.

I encourage everyone to feel sad, feel weak, feel small, feel sorrow, loss and all else including happiness, gratitude, love…and no matter what you do feel share it with others.

Love what Belinda share about Eisler, “that we should own our emotions.”

And Lori, when people say, “just be positive…you’ll be fine” it’s BS. It’s usually said due to the inability to “be with someone in their pain.” Those words are all about the person speaking not the person being spoken too…

Also Lori: What words of wisdom:On Being Ill, “We do not know our own souls, let alone the souls of others. Human beings do not go hand in hand the whole stretch of the way. There is a virgin forest in each; a snowfield where even the print of birds’ feet is unknown. Here we go alone, and like it better so.”

I’ve never heard that and it stops me right in my tracks, very powerful and true.

What Robin says, “AND how it can rob us of soul and vital wisdom, growth, compassion, peace and health. True happiness.”

There lies the gift of suffering. My daughter Kristy who was born physically challenged has suffered at the hands of thoughtless, clueless, cruel people and yet has been a gift to everyone who meets her. Robin’s words describe Kristy and the gifts she has brought to our family. Yet when I blog about Kristy I don’t blog about her pain and challenges I blog about her growth, spirit and strength. The only reason I can give for that is I think her pain and challenges are her personal story and hers to write about.

Anyway that’s the scoop as I see it…thanks for giving me this opportunity to rant. Oh and I did see the Dali Lama and I heard him speak in Chicago years ago.

Cheers
Frugal Expat´s last blog ..Brawling for AED 10

Great article. Agree with you that we must be present to everything going on. The whole be-positive movement is not sustainable. Ignoring the negative does not make i go away.

Pain is part of the full spectrum of human experience. Suffering is optional. The outside is reflection of the inside. And most of inside are full of fear and sadness, and so we suffer. We just have to be present to this, be aware, and we can let it go.

k
Kaushik´s last blog ..Getting into the flow of Awakening