Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive? I don't know. ~Paulo Coelho
I’ve posed this question to myself for the past week, since Lisis’s post Networth vs. Selfworth: The Passion Paradox at her blog QuestforBalance. There’s been a slew of great posts this week in response, all of them listed at the end of hers, so I would recommend heading over there and checking them out. They’re all worth a read.
Ultimately I began to wonder whether passion is really required for a meaningful life. After all, that’s what most people are ultimately seeking, not necessarily the passion itself. And that’s where marketers mostly seem to cash in on the passion principle.
Peddling Passion
Passion is a necessity, or so we’ve been told (and sold) over and again. Passion is something we should have regarding our work, at least says the title of many best-selling books. This idea presupposes that we have a passion to “follow” or “cash in” on, and that this is the best way to live. And if you don’t have one? Well, there’s help out there for that, too! There are countless books on how to “find” your passion and thus live your life’s purpose.
Passion and Purpose
So far, the assumptions go like this: we must have passion (or “a” passion), and if not we should find or discover it. This will give us purpose (which is associated with meaning). So, passion equals purpose. Also, if we’re particularly lucky or skilled, we get to have even more purpose because we turned our passion into work. Now we can experience passion with more frequency, so our lives are even more meaningful. If you really don’t buy this formula, there are plenty of salesman out there willing to convince you (but then you will buy it… literally).
So the path is as so:
Find Your Passion -> Live a Meaningful Life
(and further down the “path to fulfillment”):
Sustain Your Living from Your Passion -> Live an Even More Meaningful Life
So What is Passion, Anyway?
Before I could go any further thinking about this promised path, I really needed to get a clear handle on the meaning of passion. According to Merriam-Webster, passion is:
extreme, compelling emotion; intense emtotional drive or excitement; and or a strong liking or desire or devotion to some activity, object, or concept
So passion is mostly emotional, and or a state of strong desire. (It’s worth pointing out here the etymology of the word, its Latin and Greek roots, have to do with suffering and agony. Just food for thought.)
What’s the idea behind this passion requirement, really? Are we to find something that causes us to experience extreme and compelling emotional states? Are we better off living with a strong desire for (or devotion to) that activity, object, or concept? Is this really necessary in order to live a meaningful life?
Emotional states are fluid and changing, and extreme emotional states usually aren’t sustainable, nor should they be (for the sake of our mental health). Yes, excitement and extreme pleasure feel good and we like them, but strong desires for those extreme states often lead to suffering when they can’t be fulfilled. (Interestingly, that brings us back to the root of the word…)
A Deeper Look: A Psychological Needs Study on Passion and Activities
A recent psychology study on passion (in which the authors reference the very scant amount of research in this area) defines passion toward an activity as:
a strong inclination toward a self-defining activity that one likes (or even loves), finds important, and in which one invests time and energy
Sometimes, these activities become so self-defining they come to “represent central features of one’s identity.” The activities people became passionate about happened to fulfill their psychological needs for:
- autonomy (a sense of personal initiative)
- competence (the ability interact effectively with the environment), and
- relatedness (a feeling of connectedness)
The Pleasure Principle
In other words, activities people tend to become “passionate” about are ones that make them feel good in several ways, and produce positive emotional experiences for them while engaged in the activity. Interestingly, the study also unveiled two very different types of passion. This is where the buyer need beware.
Obsessive Passion
- uncontrollable urges to engage in the activity
- feelings of social acceptance and self-esteem are dependent on the activity
- sense of identity is strongly associated with the activity
- more pressure, guilt and shame associated with the activity (and less flow)
- frustration and rumination when not able to engage with the activity, difficulty experiencing pleasure in other activities
- activity engagement leads to conflict with other areas of life, like personal relationships and responsibilities
- a rigid persistence toward engaging in the activity despite conflicts, risks, and negative consequences
- lower levels of general psychological adjustment to other experiences in life
- more experiences of depression and anxiety related to general life satisfaction
- difficulty giving up the activity, despite obvious negative consequences
So, people with an obsessive passion for planting petunias (to use Lisis’s example, but feel free to fill in a different passion) derive pleasure from it but also suffer more, are less well adjusted, and have developed a psychological dependence on it. (It should be noted that this type of passion can also lead to pathological behaviors).
Harmonious Passion
- no uncontrollable urges, chooses freely when to engage in the activity
- feelings of social acceptance and self-esteem are not dependent on the activity
- though activity may be integrated into identity, it is not overpowering
- more frequent pleasure (and flow) during the activity
- higher rate of adjustment, concentration and pleasure in other activities in life than obsessive
- activity engagement does not lead to conflict with other areas of life, like personal relationships and responsibilities
- a flexible persistance toward engaging in the activity: conflicts, consequences and risks are weighed appropriately
- broadened thought and greater psychology adjustment to other experiences in life
- greater life satisfaction, meaning, and vitality than obsessive counterparts
- ability to give up the activity with little to no difficulty if negative consequences arise from it
Compared to people with obsessive passion, people with harmonious passion for planting petunias also experience pleasure from it but this has a positive effect on other areas of their lives. They also experience pleasure from other unrelated activities, report greater general life satisfaction than the obsessives, and can give up planting petunias without suffering.
Seems pretty well-rounded and balanced, right? (Someone pointed out to me that this sounds more like “enjoyment” than “passion” as we think of it. Probably so.)
Enjoyment without Obsessive Dependence
Can you see where this is heading? Harmonious passions are things we like, take part in, enjoy, but do not necessarily define who we are. We experience positive emotions from engaging with them and thus report more general life satisfaction (but we are not dependent on them). This makes us better adjusted in other areas of life than someone who is, well, “obsessed”. When viewed in this manner, it’s easy to see that many of us who can’t identify a “single” passion probably already have harmonious passions, whether they are writing, a sport, being outdoors, spending time with loved ones, eating healthy or caring about a cause. Whether or not anyone really needs a 200 page book or salesman to discover the things they enjoy is somewhat questionable. And if you’re fuzzy on them, a good self-reflective journal exercise would probably help uncover them.
Purpose, Needs and Fulfillment
Yet the passion that’s peddled to us is most often the obsessive type, the “all-consuming, one thing that makes you jump out of bed, that you would give all your time to if you could.” There’s no doubt that obsessive passion can give someone a very strong sense of purpose: If I’m obsessively passionate about petunia planting, I probably will jump out of bed to tend to my petunias. It’s probably the first thing I think of in the morning. I have a purpose. So passion does seem to give purpose, at least the obsessive type. Purpose is hard to walk away from, so there may not be as much involved for the harmonious type. But, does a sense of purpose from a passionate activity constitute for me a meaningful life? Is there anything else I value?
If the experience of the passionate activity becomes so valuable to us that we put it above all things, then we might be obsessed. And let’s face it, obsession is usually never good. Even if we don’t meet all the “obsessive passion” criteria, we may unwittingly become dependent on a passionate activity to the exclusion of other things we value. For example, if I have a job that gives me pleasure, that fulfills my psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness as stated above, (and perhaps other psychological needs, too) then I probably find my job very rewarding. I might be passionate about it at some level (I desire the pleasurable experience it gives me, I make time for it, and it’s part of my identity).
The potential danger here, and the problem that passion can present, is that I may subconsciously become so invested in the job to meet those needs that I might neglect my spouse, children, health, or other things in life that I value. The other things I value may also be able to meet some psychological needs, too, IF I give them the chance, time, and effort. But this can be easily forgotten when I’m feeling “fulfilled” (in this case from my work) and not feeling “in need”. So, passion can apparently can be very fulfilling, too. But, that may not always be good…
Why Values Need More Attention Than Passion
If it were my last week on earth, would I go to that job? Might I realize that I haphazardly neglected other things that were very important to me? Would I feel like I lived a meaningful life? How would I spend that last week?
Just because my psychological needs were fulfilled by my job doesn’t necessarily mean I was engaged with what I really value. I may have felt like I had purpose (working gave me a comfortable level of psychological fulfillment, so I repeatedly went). Though I did experience purpose, I may not necessarily have been living what I would have considered a meaningful life. (Perhaps time with my spouse, children, helping the poor, writing, and exploring spirituality were things I actually valued more than my job, but neglected.)
Thus, passion can relate to purpose, but purpose can be tricky. It’s fulfilling. Sometimes that fulfillment may put us to sleep: we’re comfortable and feel pleasurable. We stop looking deeper. We’re not seeking, because we feel purpose. However, a mindful look at values is in order. Living in accordance with our deepest values is something that really gives us meaning, the type that allows us to look back without regret, seize the present, and have enthusiasm for the future.
If I uncover what I really value, spend my time and construct my life in accordance with those values, then I will probably feel a sense of purpose in doing so. I’ll also probably discover some harmonious passions that reflect my values along the way (though I may give them up if they later conflict with them). I’m likely to invest time and effort learning how to get my psychological needs met by being true to my values, rather than unconsciously letting them be met elsewhere. This may not always fill me with passion, and may not always feel pleasurable. I need to stay mindful and aware. Yet my life will likely feel meaningful. And fulfilling, in an awake, vital, and open way.
Passion is Sexier than Values
It’s probably safe to say that “passion” and everything it connotates will continue to sell more books and widgets than “values” or “integrity” ever will, in business, in pleasure, and in the field of personal development. It’s sexy, it invokes more excitement, and it also has strong associations with the word “love” in our psyches. That’s hard to compete with.
The Final Question: What Really Matters
Maybe instead of searching to find what would we do everyday if we could, what would excite us enough to “jump” out of bed, we should be evaluating something different. Maybe the questions we should start with are better directed at unearthing our values first, rather than our passions. What would we do everyday if we had a week or month left to live? What would we think as we look back? How would we spend our time?
Miss Harmonious Petunias may or may not let the petunias go. It seems she also had other things in her life that she valued as well, from which she derived meaning and was able to attend to. Miss Obsessive Petunias, however, may or may not have a different experience. She might go on merrily planting petunias until her final hour, gracious that she’s been afforded another week or month to do so. But if not, if Miss Obsessive Petunias suddenly realizes she did have other values that went neglected, she may end up sorry that she missed the opportunity to honor them.
If you don’t have a single, living and breathing passion, don’t worry about it. Uncover your values. Be true to them. Build a life around them. Examine them and stay mindful of them. Be passionate about that.
Passion, in some of its forms, has lots of pluses, but there can also be a darker, more insidious type, too. And that kind is not necessary in the way we’ve been led to believe it is. You will likely experience pleasure, enjoyment, fulfillment and a meaningful life by discovering and honoring your values, and trying, at least, to err on the side of the harmonious… in all that you do.
Related and of Interest Elsewhere:
- Follow Your Passion Is Not for Everyone at QuestforBalance
- A Value Based Approach to Goals at RatRaceTrap
- Is Your Integrity for Sale? at Advanced Life Skills
- Emotion = Thought + Meaning (Expressed as Feeling) at Mindful Construct
- The Greatest Thoughts for Your Path to a Meaningful Existence at Goodlife Zen
- Seven Ways to Make Your Life More Meaningful at Change Your Thoughts
- Though Shalt Not Sell Out at Porsidan
- The Number One Self Development Mistake and the Fake Growth Addict at IlluminatedMind
Sources:
- Networth vs. Selfworth: The Passion Paradox QuestforBalance
- On the Psychology of Passion: What Makes People’s Lives Worth Living (Vallerand, Robert J.)
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Just from a very brief observation of six-figure online bloggers and marketers versus multi-millionaires and even billionaires, it seems to me that the likes of Donald Trump, Warren Buffet and Richard Branson seem to have more of a harmonious passion, rather than an obsessive passion, even though they’re some of the richest people in the world.
What does everyone think?
HI Gordie, great question, I wonder about that… having a very successful blog or building a real estate empire and such takes a lot of work. And, I do think some great things get accomplished when people have obsessive passions. Maybe Trump, Buffet and the like have more of a harmonious passion now, but I’m curious if it was always that way.
Cheers,
Miche
Miche,
What an incredibly well researched and well written argument for the understanding passion within a context of life balance.
Really, I was incredibly impressed by this post and personally took a lot from it. I consider myself a passionate person, I believe passion in all things is important in order to fully live and suck the very marrow out of life but it was incredibly interesting reading about your suggestions towards the negative side of a all consuming passion.
Great, great work. Amazing writing.
Jonny | thelifething.com´s last blog ..Your Chance To Read Possible The Worlds Longest Blog
Hi Jonny, thanks for stopping by, and for the kind compliments! I tried to deconstruct passion to see where it led, since I couldn’t answer my own question without doing so. I’m glad you took something from it; I realized quite a few things while writing it, too! I also believe it’s important to get the most of out life while you have it, and to give as much as you can back, too.
Cheers,
Miche
Hey, Miche! I love this! You really went all out on the passionate limb here.
I believe one of the issues that muddies the waters in this conversation is semantics. What IS passion? The word itself sounds like it’s on FIRE… passionate lovers, and at the other extreme, crimes of passion. We all know the opposite of Love isn’t Hate (since both are intense passionate feelings), but Indifference (no feeling at all).
I tend to live by the basic philosophy of avoiding extremes. If I am SO passionate about something that it is ALL I think about, neglecting everything else in life, this is not healthy (even if I am passionate about helping the homeless, but neglecting my kids in the process). The point at which something we like, or value, becomes an all-consuming obsession is dangerous, regardless of what the activity is.
I believe we can be passionate about life in general (wishing to make the most of it), and we can have a few specific passions along the way that still fit within the context of normal life, since they are things that matter to us, that we would gladly to for free, that nourish our soul and improve our lives… music, relationships, homeschooling, cooking, writing, art, helping others, making money, sports, health, spirituality, breeding chinchillas… point is, it could be anything that makes us feel more alive and isn’t detrimental to anyone.
The idealization of passionate extremes (obsession) is dangerous in so many ways, not the least of which is that it makes us susceptible to those who would prey on our fanatical devotion to the ideal.
So, what WOULD you do if you had a month left to live?
Lisis´s last blog ..Net Worth vs Self Worth: The Passion Paradox
Hi Lisis, thanks! Ya, I sort of did go all out on the passion limb. I totally agree about the semantics thing… as I was writing this I was thinking that we need more words in the English language, and I often think that, when it comes to things like this or like “love” (which the ancient Greeks had 42 words for, versus our very few).
I try to avoid extremes, too, but I wasn’t always that way. I think when I was younger I craved them in some ways, really. Now, though, I don’t think I could fall into any extremes anymore… not that I’m so balanced that everything’s perfect… I just have some sort of internal aversion toward extremes… they don’t feel good to me.
I totally agree that we can be passionate about life in general, about living the best we can. And nourishing ourselves with things we enjoy and that matter to us are an important part of that.
What would I do with that month if I knew it? You had to ask that, lol! Other than leave my day job so I could have more time, I’d do much of what I’m doing now. Try to give and express my love to those I love, friends and family. I’d probably make a few videos for those who might have the hardest time with my passing. And, I’d probably get of New England to somewhere warm on a beach for a bit with people I care about (I’ve lived here my whole life to be close to people I care about, but I love the beach and tropical weather). So I’d definitely be asking some people to take some vacation time so I could spend it with them!
What would you do?
Thanks for stopping by and starting this whole VERY interesting discussion with your post. It’s been great!
Cheers,
Miche
I guess if I had a month left to live, I’d be taking you to Costa Rica, just to make sure you get to some beautiful, warm beaches before I go!
Lisis´s last blog ..Inspiration from T. Alan Armstrong: Become Your Passion
You’re the sweetest! Beautiful warm beaches… I feel filled with harmonious passion just thinking about them!
Hi Miche, this was outstanding! I love these deep and thoughtful articles. Here’s a question that I’ve pondered on occasion. Are those people who produce great things (ideas, innovations, art, etc.) obsessed? Probably. Are they happy? Maybe not. I’m not sure genius and great achievement lead to happiness. My gut feeling and observation is no.
Your article leads me to ask another question. Can I be happy with harmonious passion? Yes, I think that is the only thing that makes me truly happy. I’ve pursued obsessive passion in the past and it didn’t make me happy. Maybe some people can be happy and obsessive. Maybe they have some deep seated drive that demands they be obsessed. Maybe that’s the only way they can be.
In my old age I’ve come to the conclusion that I need something else. Something more balanced. I love the way you have described this. I think I am better off with harmony. On the other hand I hope a few other people continue to be obsessed. They will create things that make our lives better.
Thanks for the link love. I do think a values-based approach to life may be a way to achieve ultimate long-term well-being.
Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..The Investment Banker and The Mexican Fisherman
HI Stephen, thanks so much! I do tend to think that the people who produce great things probably do have the obsessive type of passion. Could Edison have walked away from his quest without difficulty? Probably not. Yet, I’m not sure either that genius and great achievement lead to true happiness, either, at least not the balanced kind. I think there’s probably often higher highs involved, but lower lows, too. But that drive and “rigid persistence” probably keeps them going. And like you, I do hope they continue, too.
I’m definitely on the more harmonious path these days. I’ve also had passions in the past that bordered on obsessive, and probably would be classified that way. And looking back, I was out of balance, which didn’t ultimately lead to happiness for me. Thanks for stopping by!
Cheers,
Miche
Hi Miche,
Lovely! Hey, I really liked the photo in this post, too.
I liked how you delved deeply into this, Miche. Something that really stood out for me is your emphasis/early definition of passion as being linked to the Pleasure Principle.
Actually, this whole conversation can be answered (boiled down) into just that. What brings us pleasure? In that respect, you nailed it!
At our very roots, from the evolutionary perspective, we’re all deeply rooted in finding shelter, raising our young, being clothed, and finding food/water. Many people on this earth don’t even have the basic needs met, to on some levels of this conversation, I feel like I really don’t have that much to contribute. You know what I mean?
Thanks for adding to this topic, Miche, in such a thoughtful manner. I love the way you construct and write down your thoughts, Miche. Thank you.
Lori´s last blog ..Front Porch: Of Bands, Explosions, and Cattle Auctions—Laughter with Jay Schryer
Hi Lori, thanks! Yes, I think the pleasure principle plays a big part. Interesting that you bring up needs, because I almost referenced Mazlow’s Hierarchy of Needs in this post. I started researching what ways it might relate to passion but then after reading more I decided against it, since there was debate about whether a hierarchical model is really the correct one. I also do think its somewhat of a luxury that in modern western culture we’re afforded the opportunity to concern ourselves with such pleasure searching, chasing, and indulgence, when others don’t have their basic needs met. Thanks for stopping in Lori, so glad to hear from you!
-Miche
Miche,
It’s interesting that your bring obsessive and harmonious passion. I can honestly say I probably fall into the obsessive passion portion when it comes to many things in my life. AT the current time that happens to be surfng. Although I will surf for the rest of my life, I’m guessing at some point I will get the the harmonious passion which seems much healthier. I don’t anticipate any plans for pathological behavior
.
As far as values go, I think if we evaluate our values, and somehow tie those to our passions we’ll be put on the right track. In the early days of my blog I interviewed a guy from Harvard Business school press who I had this exact conversation with. He brought up the example of outliers, 10,000 hours, and passion. He said “you practice what you are passionate about, so you end up being good at it.” For me I think blogging has becoming a harmonious passion and I will also probably write for a long time regardless of how quickly I achieve growth.
Srinivas Rao´s last blog ..Guest Post: How to teach yourself how to do anything
Hi Srinivas,
First let me say I just saw your twitter background and loved it! I don’t think I’ll ever lose my affinity for the shore, waves, sand, tides, salt, and basically all things ocean. It totally makes me feel good to spend time there, in a way no other place on earth does. So, I’m pretty partial to understanding a passion (obsessive or otherwise) for surfing, even though I’ve never done it myself. I’ve also had my share of obsessive type passions before, too.
It’s interesting that you bring up turning an obsessive passion later into a harmonious one. That’s an area that the study I cited mentions the need for more research. I do think that it’s probably likely, that many people who start off with obsessive passions later turn them into more harmonious ones.
I randomly and unscientifically polled a bunch of college students (I work at a university) on what they were passionate about, and few of them could say. Then I asked them about their values and they were even more unclear. What was interesting was that most of them were never asked about their values, but they were worried about finding their passion, as that is what has been filtered down to them through our culture as being important. I think evaluating and discovering values first is probably the best way to go… and likely from there passions can and will be discovered. And values change and evolve over time usually, and passions would follow suit.
I’ll definitely have to go dig up your post with the HBS guy, sounds like a good one! I’ve never read Outliers, and this is the third time it has been mentioned to me this week, so I’ll definitely be picking up a copy, because now I’m really curious! I think he’s probably right on with the practicing what you’re passionate about to get good at it… passion does link with drive and a persistence (whether “rigid” or “flexible” as the study mentions) to engage in the activity.
Blogging too has become a harmonious passion for me. I hope you do continue to write for a long time… I love your blog and am glad I discovered it! -Miche
What a fantastic post! Thank you for the insightfulness.
It seems that life is that endless search for what really makes us happy. We mainly go through it unaware that we are NOT happy. Our minds seem to attach themselves to concepts/passions/desires that promise to bring some sort of happiness into our lives. Such is life, we reach or accomplish or obtain these desires only to feel that what once we felt would make us truly happy, actually brings us emptiness.
An eastern mystic once said, “No matter what our station in life may be, we are always restless. In the midst of plenty we are still poor. We invariably feel the lack of something. Even in our happiest moments we are missing something.”
It’s been said that the reason we are unable to find our happiness is that we don’t really understand what it is we need. This can be compared to a wild lion that has been caged for the purpose of a circus. If we went to visit this lion would we be able to witness it’s full potential? The lion has specific needs that are not being met by being caged. Therefore, he cannot reach his full potential and thus causes unhappiness.
Do we know our own nature as humans? Really? Do we truly understand what will satisfy us? Is it possible that we have mistaken what our true nature is? If so, is it possible that this is the reason for our constant unhappiness? What we seem to fail to realize is that while we humans are made of matter (physical), there is also a mental, emotional and spiritual dimension. If these different dimensions are not developed in an equal way, we ultimately feel unbalanced. This unbalanced feeling is what gives us that unhappiness… that endless search for passion/desire/people to fill the void.
We can think of the these four dimensions as being synonymous with the four tires of an automobile. If one of the tires is flat, the car does not function properly. Most of us put forth efforts in developing our physical, mental and emotional dimensions. We generally will develop one of these at the cost of the others. It’s a personal thing and different for everyone but that spiritual dimension is by far the most underdeveloped.
The thought is that if we spend time in developing all of our dimensions, especially those that are currently lacking, we will start to gain a sense of balance, which ultimately leads us to a more “purposeful” life. As you indicated, a reorientation to look at the values in our lives is essential. Through this evaluation we will start to uncover the lacking areas/dimensions in our overall development. This will give us the ability to refocus our energies to work towards something that we actually need.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts as I was inspired by your post. Thanks again!
Kind regards,
Scott
Scott Saad´s last blog ..saadware: Tech support. This pretty much sums up most experiences I’ve had. http://theoatmeal.com/comics/customer_service
Hi Scott, thanks for visiting, and welcome! What you bring up about the “emptiness” and passion filling a “void” is an excellent point. I think it when a passion is engaged most people DO feel fulfilled. That’s where we can go to sleep in a way. If I’m passionate about tightrope walking that may become a big part of my identity, and I’ll likely feel very fulfilled and accomplished in my pursuit. But, if one day I can’t tightrope walk anymore, will the emptiness return? If that was my sole way of meeting my need to feel fulfillment, then it probably will. However, as you mentioned, if we’re balanced enough to find fulfillment in all of the dimensions of ourselves without neglecting any of them, we’ll probably be balanced enough to still have a sense of well-being once we can’t tightrope walk anymore, even though we may miss it at times. Thanks for the insightful comments and thought-provoking questions… You’ve really got me thinking! Cheers! -Miche
Miche, YES!!!
You’re writing is *so* beautiful, I love how you nailed it here:
This this commodification of passion is a clear sign that people are selling “obsessive passion,” the dark side of passion. People will fall for it when they lack a sense of self-worth.
And it’s used a cop-out too. Kids asks adults what they should be when they grow up. Adults say, “Go after your dreams/ Follow your passion.” Bouncing the question back to the kids — not tackling the real weight of the question. Not “going there” to ponder what real values or integrity look like. Likely, because the adults don’t even know where to start.
The commercial journey of passion is all meant to distract us from focusing on what really matters and being *mindful* of our purpose — not just taking one on for the sake of it.
Thanks for continuing the blogs-wide discussion, I look forward to reading the other articles as well!
This is such an important article Miche, I’m probably going to read it five times with harmonious passion before I’m satisfied.
Melissa Karnaze´s last blog ..Humanity Needs Mindful Emotion Regulation
Hi Melissa! Thank you! I love the phrase “commodification of passion”… that’s perfect!! Great point about how this gets filtered down to and reinforced in kids, too. I see it the students in college… values and integrity aren’t really in the discourse, and it’s not their fault.
“The commercial journey of passion is meant to distract us from focusing on what really matters and being *mindful* of our purpose — not just taking one on for the sake of it.” – Sooooo well put! That’s really got me thinking, too!
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your insights. I think it be great, too, if you contributed to the discussion on mindfulconstruct.com, I’d love to read more on what you have to say about this! Miche
I have never read such an insightful article about passion before. You did a tremendous job at pulling all these facts together and mixing them with your own ideas and thoughts. This is such a fluid blend that you can’t stop reading it until you are at the last word.
I think that people who have passion in life are obsessed, they are addicted to that passion and they cannot pay attention to anything else. People who were truly passionate about their job are scientists like Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison and others. These people devoted their life to their passion and they have made some wonderful discoveries that all of us can’t live without right now. However, even though their passion was very productive it was still the only meaning to their life. Unless you are planning to discover radiology or create an incandescent light bulb you need to stay more focused on the down-to-earth values and priorities that won’t leave you empty at the end of your life.
Another thing with passion is that usually it goes away pretty soon (if we get back to the sexual context of passion, then we will see that there are no happy marriages based strictly on passion.) If you are passionate about something today (okay, let’s start planting petunias) then you might be passionate about something completely different tomorrow. Unless it is an addiction that you cannot live without your passion will most likely vanish in a couple of months or years.
Rather than being passionate about something I prefer to be interested in something. Maybe it is not such a strong word or feeling but it is stable and continuous. Is passion necessary for a meaningful life? I do not think so. Is it important to have priorities (values) and interests in life? It definitely is. And as usual it is important to know the balance between what YOU need for your personal satisfaction and what other people around you need. A passionate person is truly a selfish person most of the time because he/she thinks only about his/her pleasure and not about the needs of other people. Is it a meaningful life? I don’t think so.
Thank you again Miche for a wonderful and thought-provoking article.
Anastasiya´s last blog ..How to Give Your Dark Side Permission to Live
Hi Anastasiya, thanks so much for the kind words! It was quite an experience researching the topic and writing about it, to say the least! You bring up some great points about obsessive passions and addiction. The study DID cite that obsessive passions CAN lead to pathological behavior, like compulsive gambling and other addictions, where harmonious passions do not. I also agree that passion is fleeting, that it’s not really a permanent state, like all other emotional states. When it comes to the intense emotion part, that is going to be temporary. When it comes to the drive part, passion can be a great motivator. But, that too, is not always sustainable.
You also bring up a great point on the self-serving aspects of passion, that often this has to do with the pleasure fulfillment of the individual alone, and can lead to selfishness. I think Ian’s post at Quantum learning http://www.quantumlearning.pl/start-here-passion-and-compassion really sheds some light on the difference between self-serving passion and a more sort of balanced, altruistic sort. A passion about knowing what we enjoy and doing those things but also practiced with COMPASSION and peace.
Thanks so much for contributing to the conversation! -Miche
Hi Miche!
I followed the link from “The Passion Paradox” and I’m very pleased I did so. Your article crystalized so many of the thoughts I’ve been having about purpose, passion, and leading a harmonious life.
Until now I felt a little guilty about finding some passionate people creepy. I now realise that (irrespective of how ‘worthy’ the passion is) what was freaking me out was the obsessive nature of the passion. The ‘one note’ politician, the religious idealogue, the fanatical collector, the totally dedicated charity worker – possibly worthy causes, but their all consuming obsession is unbalanced.
Hi Discovered Joy, Welcome and thanks for commenting! I know what you mean, sometimes people who are passionate can become so singular- minded that their passion is all they can think about, talk about, and relate to. Sometimes the all-consuming obsessively passionate person becomes “fanatical”… It seems that when the obsessive passion road is too far travelled, where obsessive passions become SO out of balance (or the individual him or herself is so out of balance) the passion, or obsession, “consumes” everything, including the individual. -Miche
Hello Miche,
This is really food for thought. I also explored passion in an article and, like you, started off Merriam Webster’s definition. I chose to concentrate on the etymology, or the ancient meaning (suffering) but didn’t go as far as you did. Defining two types of passions, obsessive vs harmonious, is a very thought provoking approach. Seeking values vs passion as an alternative is also excellent. I am not sure I agree yet… Perhaps real values are born of passion and purpose… Perhaps passion is born of values… I’ll definitely be considering these concepts in my “quest”
Charles´s last blog ..zCoach – Free Diet and Fitness Tracker
Hi Charles, and welcome! It WAS certainly interesting to explore. I don’t know if it’s as much of a “passion ‘versus’ values” thing I’m thinking of here, just rather an inquiry into values first if one can’t really identify their passions. And, to stay mindful of one’s values even if one has passions or a single passion. After all, my original question was regarding a meaningful life. I have passion for living the best I can, according to my values. If I develop activities around those I’ll probably have some passion regarding them. If my values change, however, those activities may change, too. The attempt was to meld the two together a little more and point out the different types, while showing that obsessive, singular passions aren’t for everyone, and that passion itself can sometimes “blind” people to other things they care about. I think the “which comes first” scenarios you point out makes for an interesting inquiry… And I don’t know if there is a singular, “right” answer to any of it, but fun to explore and think about nonetheless! Thanks for commenting! -Miche
Miche-
I use the term passion a lot in my practice so I was excited to read this article (and a little nervous too!) I couldn’t agree more! You have a wonderful way of saying things that I am thinking! HA! I think hands down the biggest misnomer is to think we have one purpose, one thing that guides our life and that when we find it everything falls in line. But life is more complicated than that. I LOVE the piece on values because I am a big believer once we figure those out we can live a life in-tune with out innerselves.
Thanks for another wonderfully, thoughtful and inspiring post!
Nancy Jane
Hi Nancy, nice to see you, and thanks for commenting! I think you’re right, that IS the biggest misnomer in all of this… and the thing that makes people feel like they’re “missing something” because they don’t have that “one” thing. I agree, too, that once we figure out our values we can live a life “in tune with our innerselves”… beautifully said! Examining, questioning, and getting to know what we truly value is, really, getting to know our deepest self. Living a life in accordance with that, I suspect, is how we can derive the most fulfilling sense of meaning and purpose, too. Cheers, Miche
Miche, what a wonderful article.
I like the phrase the “peddling of passion.” It is that, and peddling of passion and purpose and positive thinking and optimism has the effect of making people feel inadequate.
In my experience, when I realized that I can simply rest in awareness, and everything else is just a point of view in awareness, and this realization itself is inner peace, the quest for passion or positive states and rest of it went away. In this peace, outer passion and purpose is sometimes invited. There is no effort to it.
Thanks for a great article.
Kaushik´s last blog ..How to mend a broken heart
Hi Kaushik, thank you! It was actually fun writing those words, “peddling of passion”, too, by the way. But on a more serious note, I think you’re right about the whole thing making people feel extremely inadequate, as if positive states where the only things one should feel, passion included.
“In this peace, outer passion and purpose is sometimes invited. There is no effort to it”… now that’s really serene, and really well said. No endless chasing, or buying needed. Thanks for stopping by. Miche
Hi Miche, really great job on this post! I would definitely recommend it to anyone who’s interested in the topic. I especially love that you bring it home, so to speak, with the decidedly un-sexy word “values”. Somehow, the word to me ,and I suspect to many others, will always sound self-righteous, but it fits beautifully in the context of your tremendous article.
As for the word passion, for me, I have often associated it with good things. I’m moved and influenced by passionate people. Their passion, in some ways, has “infected” me and influenced me in profound ways. The first time I met a famous feminist (way after having learned about her and how she paved the way for us young ‘uns), I felt her passion as well as her pain and I wanted to be just like her. When I met a renowned physician/activist, I had just read a wonderful book about him and I was in awe of his passion, sacrifices and success in curing the poorest of the poor.
But it’s not simply their passion that makes them effective agents of social change or social justice. It’s so much more. There’s their dedication, determination, work ethic, and as you say, values among other things that contribute to the success that others wish to replicate. For me, as much as I appreciate passion, it’s only one ingredient in the mix, not the whole recipe.
Thank you for distilling and sharing your insights so clearly.
Hi Belinda, thanks for the kind words! Yes, the word “values” has taken on a not-so-favorable flavor in our culture, for many reasons, especially when others try to impose their values on us when we don’t agree with them.
It’s too bad, though, because if we don’t look at our own values and become rooted in them we’re at risk of accepting the values that are most dominant in the world around us. Those of corporations and the mainstream media, say… for example, consumerism as a way to happiness… think of all the people who become passionate about chasing and acquiring as much as they can, thinking this is the way to live a meaningful life… It even brings to mind a popular bumper sticker that was around when I was young: “The One Who Dies with The Most Toys Wins”… what the heck?!
I’ve also mostly associated passion with good things, too, which is why I wanted to deconstruct it, to learn what I could about all sides of it and what role it plays in our lives. (My own personal ultimate conclusion to this inquiry is that it does play a role in a meaningful life, but it’s not the only player.) I too have been moved and influenced by very passionate people. Passion, enthusiasm, inspiration… these all go together… they can be infectious and contagious in a very good way. And as you point out, there’s a lot more that goes with that, the dedication, hard work, and values… I think that sort of combination makes for the best teachers and leaders… the real influencers and thought-changers.
Thanks for adding to the discussion! -Miche
Miche,
Such a well-examined topic and well-crafted post. And really thought provoking. I do believe there are many sides to so many of our “emotions,” and you point that out so well. I’d like to say I recognized myself in the “harmonious passion” section; that seems to be my hope and (hopefully!) my placeholder. (The Middle Way in Buddhist theory…)But what strikes me the most is your closing statement. “To err on the side of harmony” in all we do. You are a gal after my own heart. I have a dear friend who often says, “To err on the side of love.” I like that too….May harmony AND love be yours….
Hi Jan, great to see you, and thanks for the compliment! It was fun to research, really, and to learn more about. I’m partial to the Middle Way, too… “err on the side of love”… I like that… Love, harmony, balance, peace, values, these are the sort of things that have captured my “harmonious” passion these days, too.
I try to stay balanced because I can get very consumed by things if I don’t stay mindful, which usually throws my life out of balance. That no longer ultimately feels good to me…. balance is part of what I’m striving for more of. Thanks so much for stopping in, and many wishes for love, harmony, AND balance to you, too!
Dear Miche,
I finally made it here. Been running behind. And it soooooo good to be back here and feel the inspiration I always feel from you.
I had to chuckle reading this. I was reading along and these thoughts went through me. “There is a passion that is soooo easeful, peaceful, timeless, spacious, non-compulsory…” Then I felt into my body again and back through my life in the rainforest and I thought, “But it’s more than that. I think a distinction can be made between obsession and passion.” AND THEN I kept reading your post and THERE you were talking about Obsessive Passion!!! I just laughed out loud!!
This happens every time I read your WONDERFUL, deeply insightful work. I LOVE how your thought processes work. You are so dang clear! We are very much alike and yet we may arrive at the same conclusions slightly differently. I am not good at doing what you did brilliantly in this post. You just blow me away how you lay it all out methodically and in a way the mind can grasp logically and soooooooo clearly.
I tend to just feel everything and feel my way into things with very little thought at all. LOL!!
So I convey insights to other through emotion. Not that you aren’t emotional, you are WONDERFULLY emotional and FILLED with vitality and compassion and love. But you sure do some of the most brilliant writing I’ve seen, just clearly present in a logical step by step way. You’d write a top notch book. I’m so proud of you because you are just doing such cutting edge work, but more importantly you are a free thinker. YES!!
Hugs and much love to you, Miche,
Robin
Robin Easton´s last blog ..Become the Journey
Hi Robin! So good to see you! I love your description of that
“easeful, peaceful, timeless, spacious, non-compulsory” passion…
YES!! THAT to me is the very passion of LIFE itself… the beautiful, vital, pulsating, flowing, timeless energy of life, that fills you, yet flows through you, with you, in you and about you, and leaves you wanting for nothing but to just BE with it.
Thanks for kind words about my writing! While I am truly a pretty emotional person, (and actually sometimes prefer to write with emotion involved), sometimes I like to take things apart, too, and see where they lead. I learn a lot from doing it (about myself, too) and did from writing and researching this topic. I do think passion is vital, and that it might just be a big part of the vitality of life itself, but that obsession is not. And that if we are aware of what we REALLY value, DEEP inside (not what society tells us to value, and not more superficial, unexamined and subconscious ego-based values), we’re more likely to experience passion in fundamentally healthy, vital and inspirational ways… Ways that are in harmony with the CORE of our being, and with the world around us.
Hugs and much love back to you, Robin, and thank you so very much. You INSPIRE me, in so many, many ways. -Miche
Hey Miche.
Passion sure is sexier than values. If you tell someone to follow their values, it can seem boring and commonplace, but their values is where it starts. If I value a certain material possession over other people, no matter how hard I try, those people will notice that I look down on them compared to that material possession. Showing passion won’t cover up that problem.
That point about autonomy, or personal initiative, is a cool one to bring up. Some of us show autonomy, and some of us have very few examples where we show it, which leads to us feeling weaker, which leads to even fewer efforts to show it. I think it is one of those cyclic things. The people who take initiative sooner get results that they use to propel themselves to take initiative again. It is worth jump-starting somehow to get into that cycle.
Informative post here.
Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..You Don’t Know What Works Until You Fully Try
Hi Armen, thanks for visiting! I know, isn’t it? “Follow your values” just sounds bleh. Boring and uninspired, but after looking into this more I felt strongly that that’s where the healthiest passions begin.
I think your point about autonomy and personal initiative is very valid one. Sometimes we may not feel like we have enough of it over our own lives. This is where we might be swept away by (or blinded by, or “put to sleep” by, whatever) a passion that really doesn’t reflect our values… simply because it fulfills that need for autonomy and self-direction. And that can be quite intoxicating if we really feel a lack of it. (As can passions that fill those other needs as indicated by the study, if we feel a lack of them, too).
BUT, as you mention, if we TAKE initiative and live our lives by a sense of self-direction, no matter what we do, and remain true to what we really value, we probably won’t be prey to that downward cycle of weakness and resignation. Passion can propel us for certain, and can jump-start us in a direction. And to add to your point, we’ll probably have better (and healthier) results if that direction is a self-directed one, rather than one pulls us and leads us elsewhere… which may be somewhere we ultimately don’t want to be.
Thanks so much for the insightful contributions to the conversation! Cheers, Miche
Heya Miche,
I love Armen’s thoughts on this, so I’ll continue where he left off. I’ll try to be short in my reply as I have tons of work to get done.
You need values, which are static, in order to govern how you live (unless you plan on living totally amorally). Most people don’t take out a pen and paper to determine their values, but most of them follow them to a point, unconsciously, as social conditioning has given them (largely) decent values to live by.
But those are passive and don’t generate any direction. Passion is needed to add direction. Think of passion as a desire or want. Then we ACT on our desires to further them.
However, these “wants” can’t come from a point of scarcity where we NEED them to survive; that’s the obsessive passion. The harmonious passion, as you called it, comes from a position of abundance. That is, even if we don’t pursue our passion, we still feel whole inside and our self-esteem isn’t damaged. We only pursue the passion because it makes us feel good and is an opportunity for self-expression, and nothing more.
That’s as far as I’ll go into the rabbit hole for now. Interesting discussion
Brett – DareToExpress.com´s last blog ..Breaking Free – Eschewing Conventional Blogging Wisdom
Hi Brett, welcome, and great to see you here! Those are some great insights on the whole scarcity vs. abundance issue. “Harmonious passion” isn’t a term I can take credit for. It came from the study, but I do happen to like it.
Here’s where a question comes in, and partly why I drew the conversation toward values. Society may or may not have given us some “decent” values to live by. But are the rest of them really the right ones for us personally, as individuals? I think many a personal development journey has begun when we discover that our own real values and the ones we’ve previously accepted (that may have been given us by society) conflict. Often, that’s initially a pretty uncomfortable place to be. But if we stay the course, finding our own truths and shaping our lives in accordance with those truths, we “come alive” and develop ourselves and our lives, personally… and often, passionately, too.
Cheers, Miche
Hi Miche,
Okay – this was really great to read!
I like to think about it this way, which is how I now look at New Year’s resolutions: (this is from singer/song writer/blogger Christine Kane). She talks resolutions, and I’m modifying her thoughts here to passion.
Most people follow a DO-HAVE-BE model
DO: I will DO this (write, sing, plant flowers)
HAVE: So I can HAVE self worth, peace, comfort, etc
BE: So I can BE confident, brave, courageous, loving, etc
Maybe we should flip it around to BE-HAVE-DO.
In that case, we are focusing more at our core, what really matters. Let’s say it’s courage at our core, that we really want, so that we can have more confidence in ourselves. There are many ways to do this (sing, stand up comedy, cooking, etc, etc, etc) – the thing that I guess I see as truly important is something deeper. What is it touching upon, at our core? So important, I think. And if we are at that spot, where at a core or soul level, we are connecitng with something greater – then that’s the passion I want in my life – and I also believe it is not limited to just one thing. And it’s also something I see as evolving over time. And that’s perfectly okay.
So, for me, a meaningful life comes from connecting at a deeper level within…
Lance´s last blog ..The Upside of Life (And Holiday Celebration!)
Hi Lance, welcome, and thanks so much for stopping by. I love the flipping around of the model… that’s really brilliant, and rings so true to me. That’s what I was really trying to get to, what’s deep inside, what’s at our core, is what matters, and I think those things lead us to places where we can connect with passion in a way that’s truer to ourselves (rather than finding it or seeking elsewhere, to look within and start there). A meaningful life for me, too, is much as the same as you so beautifully put it. Thanks so much for commenting and for adding these great insights to the conversation. (You should do a post on the “flipping” of that model, I think it would be great, and I think a lot of others would appreciate it, too.) Cheers, Miche
“Maybe the questions we should start with are better directed at unearthing our values first, rather than our passions.”
Fantastic line! I think word “passion” is being misused as well as overused these days. I also think that there is a huge difference between passion and purpose. The true difference is that passion is what you would like to be doing and purpose is what you should be doing. But I believe that embeded in the thing we should be doing, is that passion that we all want.
It’s like, I love basketball. Love, love basketball with a passion! But is that what I really should be doing with my life? Well, on the simple fact that I hate running suicide drills, I’d have to say no. Instead I found that I have other skills and talents and am making a more meaningful life for myself and others. There, I have found my passion and purpose.
Great post and thanks for letting me vent on your blog
Hi Ralph, thanks and welcome! I totally agree with the “misuse” and “overuse” of the word these days, which is partly why I wrote the post.
I like your distinction between what we’d “like” to be doing and what we “should” be doing… I think that really drives at something many people seek in terms of having more “balance” in life… and also why we seek or desire passion regarding work (which is often where a big conflict can arise between what we “like” and what we “have-to” do).
As far as passionate activities and sports, I really understand that. I think in general we spend WAY too much time in our heads, and when engaged in sports we often experience a oneness with the moment… with our bodies and surroundings… and that’s a beautiful thing, something we often don’t get enough of in our busy cerebral lives. -Miche
MiMiMiche you lil strumpet. covered in deliciously tasty magic syrup and sprinkled with insight.
Loved this article. Ignited neurochemical fireworks that lit up my heart and the two kinda fought it out about what to say in the comment. The head bone’s connected-to-the-…heart bone. Then father time interjected and reminded me that it’s 1:06AM and i’m tired. So i slapped him and told him to bugger off…
“Harmonious passions are things we like, take part in, enjoy, but do not necessarily define who we are. ”
Little snap, crackle and popping noises, quite possibly not entirely imagined, went off somewhere between my eyes when i read that.
So i have a question: what if the distinction between harmonious and obsessive passion – that little difference in perspective – is the basis for defining who we are (assuming such a thing is possible.) What i mean is that the only difference, far as i could tell, between obsessive and harmonious passion is the degree of oneness with life and constructive overall positive state of being that the person approaches whatever they love doing with. And so the distinction, whether they have harmonious or obsessive passions is an indication of whether they are flowing with life or against it.
Flowing with life. (constructive and postive and ease)
Or against it. (destructive and negative yuck ego)
And the purpose thing – well, think that’s just a question of whether you feel a connectedness and a connection to life or not. i.e. flowing with life or not. If you’re not and your passion is obsessive then you’ll still have that ‘purpose’ and get up and make those petunias look sexy, but it’ll be from a “i am the best” ego point of view or even just to try to keep things the same for fear of them getting worse if you stop your obsession.
Really interesting point: “if the experience of the passionate activity becomes so valuable to us that we put it above all things, then we might be obsessed.”
…seeing something as valuable comes from a place of scarcity (flow against life) and wanting to hoarde what little value you can (ego flow against yuck) instead of seeing the abundance in everything (flow with life).
Same thing with the job that you become invested in. Ego creeps in on tiptoes, rubs its slimy hands together, lets out an evil laugh and jumps in the driver’s seat out of fear that there’s not enough and you’re not enough and you have to fight to live.
And yeah, can def be fulfilling when its harmonious because you’re feeling that inherent connection to the honeycomb of collective existence.
Melting into reality instead of fighting to beat it.
To me, and yeah this may sound like a vast simplification, but purpose is always constructively moving forwards because every tingle of your being is buzzing with aliveness and excitement for living and experiencing life in all its yumness. Passion is the particular thing in which that desire to live and be in reality and be constructive and flow with life manifests.
Miss Obsessive Petunias will eventually realise, probably only in her death bed, that planting another fucking petunia isn’t going to make her feel alive. And realise that it’s not what you do but how you choose to live – how you choose to plant your petunias – that’s important and fulfilling and yum.
And as for uncovering passion, i think it’s a matter of seeing the good in everything and seeing that life is good. always. realising that you don’t need to do something in order to be you, but playing the game anyway because it feels good to tickle your expressiveness and be constructive and LIVE.
Loved the distinction between obsessive and harmonious passion.
Again, really really inspiring undiluted yumness Michey. Really. Well done.
Amazing how far your site has come. Yumalicious in fact
Keep well Michey
a
Hi Alex! Delicious comment, as always… It got me really thinking in places and cracking up in others!
This quote was priceless (and fun!):
“Ego creeps in on tiptoes, rubs its slimy hands together, lets out an evil laugh and jumps in the driver’s seat…”
Great synopsis of the role of ego in passionate pursuits! Because passionate pursuits become part of our identities (as stated in the study, at least for the obsessive type) there seems to be a real correlation between the pursuit of passionate activities and ego needs. And, I think passion, overall, whether obsessive or not, tends to be an exciting, positive feeling… So if our pursuits are satisfying ego needs AND we have passion for them (or is it for really for THAT?) then it’s probably pretty difficult to walk away from them or see the need to “flow with life” (…I also think the experience of passion can sometimes feel very similar to that flow-with-life thing… for both types).
I also believe a spirit of growth and oneness can elicit passion in very positive ways… the more harmonious type, to stick with the definitions in the study. So could it all boil down to a “flow with life vs. against it” simplification… I think in some ways, yes, it’s an excellent point. Maybe there is a lot more CRAVING for the feeling in the obsessive type, (AND, that feeling is derived almost solely from certain conditions and/or activities) hence the higher rate of dissatisfaction with life in general (all the ego’s CLINGING and resistance “yuck”, as you point out). We know we can’t just ride the waves of passion all the time and experience nothing else in life, anymore than we can feel any other feeling all of the time.
As for the experience of purpose, I love your definition of it! It’s self-less in a life-affirming way, as compared to other experiences of it which I think are often subconsciously more self-serving (or ego-serving). Which brings me to a different question: the desire for “purpose”… alas, a different post! Maybe one day!
Alex, thanks so much for the insightful comment and dialogue here… always great to hear from you, makes me think and smile together… all good things!!! Cheers, Miche
I agree with you that values are far more important than passions. Realizing and living our values is a tough task — and a tough sell.
Getting to know yourself at this core level requires awareness. But before we can become accurately aware, we must achieve some level of calmness. if we are always in an agitated, stressed, or fast-living emotional state, it is impossible to trigger our awareness. We are too enmeshed in the swirl and circle of thoughts, emotions, and events in our life for that to happen.
Many people live in this stressed and emotionally charged state, where being calm is out of the question. Their chance of becoming truly aware of their values is slim.
Passion then is an easier find, and most people take the path of least resistance. Self-help marketers instinctively prey on this weakness with a message of strength. It sounds great, and in the short term it can benefit a person, but paradoxically, the only aspect of our nature that is strengthened by these marketing gurus, is that weakness for a heightened emotional state.
In the end — there is no substitute for basic self-discipline; first to reduce stress, become physically healthy, and then to explore that infinite world of awareness that lies within us.
Good subject
John
John – Zen-Moments´s last blog ..Satisfaction For Sale
Hi John, thanks for stopping by, and what great insights!
“If we are always in an agitated, stressed, or fast-moving state, it is impossible to trigger our awareness”… so true! (Barring of course some profound sort of experience that jolts us out of that “swirling” mess). I think you nailed the whole marketing thing and the great paradox with the message of strength and what that can mean in the long run, a “weakness” for a heightened emotional state.
Though “calmness”, some “mindfulness” and other such terms have also been creeping into the public discourse and marketing trends (albeit without the allure and intensity of the passion stuff) I also think they are a tougher sell, too, as is self-discipline, though I totally agree with you. “Self-discipline” sells as a key to “success” in that crazy “swirl” (I do love that line); “calmness” and “mindfulness” as a temporary reprieve from it. The appeal of these things as a way of life in general (as well as “awareness”) dulls in comparison to the shiny, glittery excitement “passion” tends to evoke. Whether we’re seeking to “win” or “triumph” over that swirling fester or just looking for a temporary reprieve along the way, we’re often still caught up in it… and passion itself, though it may feel good, isn’t the way out of that at all.
Awesome comment! Cheers, Miche
Hey Miche, this is one of the best articles I’ve read in a while – like most people in personal dev, I’ve thought a lot about passion, but the two types of passion really made me pause and reflect upon some of the things I’ve been “passionately” pursuing in my life. Amazing!
Hi Albert, great to see you, and thanks a bunch! Researching this gave me pause too, a lot of it, and the comments and dialogue have added so much to my thinking about it… they’ve been really awesome.
I did a lot of reflecting during but also since writing this and a lot of learning, too. Actually, some of that reflecting was initially sort of uncomfortable!! I think that’s because we (myself included!) have been encultured to see passion as mostly positive and NOT really to question or explore it, just rather, to seek it… And perhaps it’s that sort of sentiment too, that may in part account for the relatively little research out there on it.
Cheers, Miche
Happy holidays Miche!
k
Kaushik´s last blog ..Radical Transformation
Hi Kaushik, thanks so much!! And to you, too! I took a little break but am back now and heading over to your post! Cheers, Miche
Hi Miche – I know I’m quite late to the party here, but wanted to stop by to thank you for commenting on my blog and also let you know how much I enjoyed reading this piece. This is such a thoughtful exploration of passion and all that goes along with it, and I love that you frame passion, right from the get-go, in terms of how meaningful it is. Because that’s really the inquiry of our lives: “what truly matters?” In fact one of my favorite authors, James Hollis, suggests that at the end of the day the question to ask is not, “was I happy today” but rather “did I experience meaning today?” But my sense is many people confuse the yearning for meaning with the desire for passion, because it seems easier, lighter, more clear cut, and of course as you say, the message is there that we should have it. That life is incomplete without it. Which is sad, because in the end it does such a number on a person’s self esteem. So many clients over the years have told me they think something’s wrong with them because they can’t figure out their passion.
And something I’ve recognized after ten years of working with people around meaning and values is that it takes time and energy to sort through what’s truly of value (and let go of what seemed to be of personal value but was really handed down from family, society, etc), and then in turn put those values into action to live a values driven life. Passion seems so much more fun! Actually, passion seems like magic compared to values. And people do want that magic. A few years ago I started telling new clients that no one has magic to give them, but they have it within themselves and we can work together to unearth it. They don’t always like to hear that, but it does open them up to focus more on values and less on the magic promise of passion.
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Introducing Meaning Mondays